Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
