it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
