these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
