I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
3pm strippers are depressing
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
