i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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