somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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