If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
