Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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