good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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