Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Randomize
