We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
