dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
