she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
