Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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