He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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