And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
