someone get that fucking seahorse.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i need some magic done to my vagina
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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