I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
