Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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