are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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