Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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