He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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