How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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