DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
