I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
