Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
