why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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