i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
