Umm I'm too high to move.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize