So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
