Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
