this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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