WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
