i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Holy sore nipples Batman
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
