YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
