okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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