But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
