walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
