Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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