Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
