biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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