The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
