this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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