grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize