What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
