If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
