In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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