Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
