is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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