You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
