you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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