how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
