Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
