Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
