My room smells like vodka and shame
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
