You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
