And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
